The Journey-In

"Live Wire" - The Path of Unseen Energy

2010-05-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Copyright: By Mike Robinson & Jo Le-Rose 2002

The piano teacher looks at the clock again, it is 5.30p.m and his client is 15mins late. At first he thinks it may be traffic that has held her up, but 30mins later there is still no sign of her and no telephone call. Even though he works from home, he is now angry and he feels that his time has been wasted. He starts to think how selfish she has been and he begins to judge her past actions, which are only confirming his belief of how she never follows his rules of time and his frustration begins to emerge…

His client is driving her car to pick up her daughter from school, and she is late for the piano lesson because her daughter’s school trip has over run. The woman has not been home during the day and does not have the piano teacher’s telephone number with her. Suddenly, she starts to feel angry and she does not know why. She starts to get angry at the school and in particular with the bus driver for his lateness, and then she remembers all the times people have let her down and she starts to think about various people who have made her angry in her life. In turn, these people begin to feel angry…. and they do not know why…

At the school she meets up with the other 30 parent’s who are waiting for the school bus, and they too are angry about the driver being late. It is Friday evening and everyone wants to be at home winding down and relaxing. A woman calls to the head teacher, "This is ridiculous. I’ve waited here for 30mins and still no sign of them." They all nod their heads in agreement and they start to talk to each other about the last time the school made a mistake, or how long they’ve had to wait for a bus, to see a doctor, or a dentist, etc, and emotions begin to run high, as the chat turns into gossip and judgment. This distorted energy is now being sent to those from the past and the doctors, dentists and those that they have gossiped about suddenly begin to feel angry…and they do not know why…

Meanwhile, the bus driver is very flustered, as he has now been stuck in a roadwork jam on the M25 for 45mins and he is feeling angry with the guys who are laying the new road. He beeps his horn in frustration, and because he also has 30 parent’s thinking about him, his anger gets worse. To top it all off, the kids are tired and they are beginning to play up. He yells at them to be quiet, but they too are feeling fed-up and frustrated.

The guys doing the road works are just not happy at all. There have been several hold ups with the building of the road, and theyve had to narrow the motorway to a single lane, causing an eight mile queue. One guy looks up at the school bus as the driver beeps his horn. He tries to diffuse the situation by waving at the driver, but the driver puts up his fist in anger and the guy drops his head. He starts to feel angry too and he begins to look at his life. It is a monotonous existence and he is just not living his aspirations. An image of his father pops into his mind and he thinks about how his father would not let him follow his dream of playing in an orchestra, and feelings of anger and blame begin to surface. In a town 50miles away his father suddenly feels angry with his life…and he does not know why…

The guy looks at his workmates, who also look fed-up. You can almost see a haze of projected thought forms of anger and frustration around them from the passing traffic. ‘Fancy a drink down the pub?’ he shouts. No wonder they get drunk most nights, as the pub has become a way of releasing themselves from the disruptive projected energy.

The rush hour of six thousand cars slowly pass the workers by. Most of the drivers face’s look fed up and stern. They are thinking about the traffic queue and angry memories from the day or from the past begin to surface. They pass on the anger to at least half-a-dozen people each. There are now 36,000 people feeling angry who do not know why… In turn, they begin to think about what has made them angry and pass it on to at least half-a-dozen people each. There are now 216,000 people feeling angry who do not know why… they pass it on… Within the hour 46 million people are feeling angry who do not know why… This anger is spreading faster than any disease or plague!!!

Meanwhile, nature is being bombarded by all the polluted thoughts from humanity. In response the rats begin to run riot in a city’s main sewage system. Over a period of days they begin to infest thousands of homes. It is becoming a hygienic problem for the inhabitants. A rat bites a small child and she breaks out in a fever. Mother Nature is giving expression to the anger of humanity. The thought forms from humanity always materialise and deeply effect the environment...

A week later the piano man is laid in bed with flu. He has not been able to move out of bed for two days, as his temperature is very high and he is furious with himself. All of his appointments have had to be cancelled. No-one around him has had the flu so he cannot understand how he caught it… His daily life is created by his thoughts and his original thoughts about his client have now come back to him laden with angry bacteria, which has broke through his aura and sapped his strength. His thoughts added to the anger that plagues this planet and this had an effect on millions of people. What is given out will always return multiplied…

In the next village, a woman is sitting with a cup-of-tea looking out of her window at the daffodils in her garden when suddenly, she begins to feel angry. Immediately, she goes outside into the garden and questions where the anger is coming from, as she knows it does not belong to her. Checking her own thoughts and feelings she begins to search inside for the source and she finds the energy of an old school friend who is projecting anger towards her. In response, she puts up a mirror at this friend and sends light through the mirror to diffuse the anger. This light travels into her friend’s energy and begins to break down the anger. In turn, the light is passed on and affects the person who sent the anger to him, and the chain goes on. The only antidote to a disease or plague is love. To change the world, only one person needs to take responsibility for their thoughts. The woman has now given light to millions of people without even leaving her garden. The plague ends here…until the next thought of anger arises…

A few years later the piano man dies and he finds himself in a dark and crowded place. He is in a parallel world that is not much different from the earth that he left behind and surrounding him are similar things and similar people. His level of understanding life is just the same. In his confusion he starts to get angry with those around him for his current state. He grumbles to himself and blames the government, his parent’s and society and he looks back at all the times when people did not live up to his expectations and please him and he remembers the incident of his client who did not show up. Immediately, he begins to defend himself by judging and criticising her actions. Suddenly, he remembers her apologetic telephone call that occurred the next day, so he starts to look at the whole situation from her angle and the reality of what really happened reveals itself. He sees the effect his angry thoughts had upon her and the world and he begins to cry and wail at the emptiness of his life. All those wasted opportunities to bring forth a life filled with love, compassion, joy and freedom. Instead, he chose to create a small, limited and cynical world. Slowly over time he is shown that there is nothing outside of the self. We attract all that comes our way.

The truth is… whether in life or death, you will have to face the effect of all your thoughts, words and actions. One thought affects every living thing, every aspect of nature, the earth, the planets and the cosmos; that’s how powerful you truly are…

http://www.mike-readings.com
http://www.mikerobinson.eu.com

The Ultimate Meditation Technique; Sticking With It

2010-04-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Guest Blogger - Dr Russell Razzaque

People often tell me about their difficulties with meditation; it's hard to start and, often, just as hard to maintain on a regular basis.

In our lives we are programmed to remain active. Work, play and sleep - these are the 3 modes of activity our entire day is designed around. Nothing else. But meditation does not fall into any of these categories, that's why it's hard to keep it in our daily routine. Also its gains can take some time to materialize; weeks, months and even years, rather than the seconds or minutes most product/experience marketing promises us in the digital age. That's why regular meditation is a lot like regular exercise. It's hard to start and often hard to stick with too.

When we meditate, we allow ourselves time with the innermost emotions, thoughts and feelings inside. We don't employ them for this or that purpose, we simply watch them. It's the difference between driving a car and being a passenger. We are so used to driving our lives this way and that, that we find the practice of just sitting and observing so alien.

The most fundamental reason for meditation being so difficult, however, is that a part of us - whether you call it the ego, the outer self or the lower self (although I tend to avoid the latter as no part of ourselves is higher or lower than another) - is intensely involved in the world. It lives in and feeds off the constant vicissitudes of existence. Like a soap opera addict, it never sees beyond the dramas of life. This is an inevitable and necessary part of all of us as, without it, we'd be ineffective in this world. What is also necessary, however, is the ability to sometimes take a step outside of the merry-go-round and just be. Just feel. Just know. And just watch. You don't have to turn it into your whole life - you just need windows, but the world based self will always keep dragging you back to the next most important thing. From the perspective of the ego, everything is important and it all needs attention right now. And sometimes we fall for it.

When you meditate you realize that it doesn't, but remembering that and extricating yourself from the constant whirlwind will, necessarily, always be a constant struggle.

As a result - even after months or years of practice - we can end up lapsing out of it. It's the same with any exercise that returns us to the position of observer - whether it's yoga or Tai Chi. That's why the ultimate meditation technique is, in its essence, simple; just stick with it.

Easier said than done, though, I know.

Dr Russell Razzaque is a medical doctor and psychiatrist based in London. If you liked this article then you'll likely benefit from Sileotherapy; a FREE stillness based online self help program in which Dr Razzaque teaches people to go beyond thought and realise their true potential: http://www.meditation-therapy.net

We are who we've been waiting for..

2010-03-21T14:11:00.000-07:00

( I came across this on Facebook.. it resonates very deeply...)

We Are Who We Have Been Waiting For
http://www.facebook.com/JShypnosis?v=app_4949752878#!/video/video.php?v=10150169780530457&ref=mf

This Is The Event We Have Been Waiting For

Anytime, Anywhere, Anybody - The Universe will gel the event together out of linear time - so it really does not matter when you do it.

This Will Take Two Minutes And Is Free!

There Is No Right Way Or Wrong Way!

All you have to do is:

IMAGINE IN YOUR MINDS EYE – YOU OPEN YOUR ARMS OUT – REACHING – YOU JOIN HANDS WITH ANOTHER ON EACH SIDE – AS YOU CONNECT YOU RADIATE A BRILLIANT WHITE LIGHT.

The mere fact that you have read this you have already participated but to really power it up you do it with intention. The power of intention is what is going to make this work.

The person you connect with on each hand can be anyone – someone you know – someone you used to know – someone who is no longer here physically – someone you do not recognise – someone you admire – someone you cannot see even.

You can do it once, or a million times, we cannot overdo this. You can do it on your own or with a group. You can be in solitude or on a busy street, train, plane. You can do it in nature. You can do it in work. You can do it in a holy place. You can do it in a field. You can do it whilst meditating. You can do it in any mood. You can do it in the sunshine, you can do it in the rain.

I THINK YOU GET THE PICTURE

You Can Do It Now. You Can Do It Later. You Can Do It Yesterday. (Facebook event menu has restricted the dates on here)

JUST DO IT – WITH THE INTENTION OF CONNECTING

Please pass this to all your friends and groups. Please Twitter it, Blog it, email it, website it, word of mouth it. Please translate it and pass it on. This must be global.

Please post any reactions, significant changes, obvious influences you may notice after this invite was read!!

It Must be so...

2010-03-07T09:26:00.000-08:00

They walk the earth

Shielded by human faces

Safe-guarding their identities

It must be so…

They assimilate lives

in this dimension

masquerading infinite energy

which otherwise could not be

contained within the frame of a human body

This must be so…

No one sees behind their eyes,

No one hears farther than their words,

No one understands

Beyond their emotions,

It is not time…

When impressions

Past and future crumble

Into the melting pot

of now and forever more…

and not a moment before,

Will the dim glass

become crystal clear,

And only then,

Shall they be revealed

Unto this world

Behold…

A Light shines

On yonder hill..

For I am only Human

2010-02-21T07:25:00.000-08:00

Like a rebellious child

I denounced my inheritance

leaving behind a home,

perfectly prepared for the fullness

of expression,

And walked off into the darkness

With the impetuousness of youth

I brought no provisions,

not a candle nor lamp

to light my way

Like an unrepentant fool

I trudge day after day

unbeknownst to me

covering the very tracks

that would lead me home

Like a cowering simpleton

my bravado weakens

with each declaration of well-being

Ceaselessly, I ask directions

but each weary traveler I encounter

sends me deeper into lost consciousness,

as the blind cannot lead the blind

I see the creatures of darkness

keeping a fervent vigil in my head,

Do they smell the stench of my human fear?

Like so many others before me

I am committing the greatest tragedy

since I also have bought into the delusion,

that, “I am only human”

nerak

I am - all "That"

2010-02-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

"All things belong to "That" divine presence, whose home is everywhere. "That" presence is the single, inner life of the entire universe. Each thing perceived is just an outer habitation of "that" one inmost life. From "that", all governance and guidance comes, in all acts and happenings. All things are for its sake." - Teachings from the Upanishads.

We are the image of Source. What does that mean?

Seems we have such varying perceptions of what or who this Origin is... how then are we to know what we are?

There are so many versions presented of what "That' is, some depicting qualities we would not tolerate in each other... so where is the 'truth' about "That"? Is it the angry, vengeful, jealous man portrayed in some religions? Where is the joy in being manipulated by such states? I know what it is to be angry, jealous and vengeful and frankly, those are unpleasant feelings. So what then are we to do and more importantly, why do these perverted representations continue to persist about the essence with and in which we are crafted? Or are we simply molding our interpretations of the Divine within the confines we have of ourselves?

The word - 'eternal' - makes me realize I can't conjure up the essence of what "That" is with my conditioned, limited mind - For the life of me, I cannot conceptually wrap my mind around what 'eternal' should feel like in a sustainable way.

What I do know, is all my authentic moments of deep, deep interacting with something/someone beyond the known, come as all-encompassing feelings, sensations, profound understanding, deeply personal and oftentimes inexplicable. They are not from my thinking nor praying mind, but indisputably real moments of completely losing any notion of who I think I am, into an awareness of being integral to a far greater reality.

"That" does not live in my intellect. No matter how many books I can quote and how much I may understand the coming together of the cosmos.. all is of naught... if it's still only information swirling around in my head - as it brings me not one step closer to living it's authenticity. Years of theological studies and debating to find more and more sophisticated ways of saying the same things, do not reveal to my experiencing, a mind that has transcended it's conditioning, as I will still find myself reacting to triggers from deep emotional impressions.

OmniPresence comes in my quiet moments of intimate communication and communion in awareness. It is nothing special and yet, everything - when self dissolves into that moment becoming a part of the whole... Beyond this, I can speak nothing more of "That" and yet, I struggle to find words to describe what "That' is.

The Divine is you .. with your own taste and flavor, so for me or anyone else to tell you what "That" is, seems ludicrous hence, so many versions, misperceptions and contradictory information. The unveiling is in your own living. What I or others could share however, is the 'how' - describing some of the techniques or 'tools' we've used to become less and less manipulated by our learnt patterns of thinking and behavior which in itself, opens our experiences to an internal stream of consciousness to and from the unknown. "That"- is where we fill in the blank for ourselves.

The more we drop our conditioning, the more our Divine nature blossoms which for me, has emanating at it's core - the quality of unconditional love. I use the word unconditional to describe the love reflective of the Divine (therefore, our innate being), as we humans have come up with our own version of what love represents and in most cases, it is burdened by expectations... "I love you, if..."

Unconditional Love essentially is, loving someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs - an unlimited way of being. Seems unrealistic but the truth is, if we fully understand that we are not here to influence how another thinks but to evaluate our own perceptions of ourselves and others, there comes a deep level of acceptance of what is, and a releasing of the ego's needs to control how others think and act.

The ultimate is to 'see' ourselves and each other, as divine beings, brainwashed by erroneous information therefore, not acting as our true all - "That" - selves.

With unconditional love as the central representation of my nature - first, I learn to love myself - unconditionally, and in my effort to love myself unconditionally, I learn the qualities of tolerance, forgiveness, patience, acceptance, compassion and kindness, all of which enable me to extend this way of being to every other interaction in my life. This is my central 'guide' on this journey to unveil the divine in me. It is tangible and realistic as, it literally comes down to practicing being conscious of every thought I foster and each choice I make. If I remain faithful to this path, then I believe all other aspects of my life fall harmoniously into place.

So yes, I could go off on the intellectualizing of so much information I've come across along the way - much of which has been invaluable in my understanding more and more of the big picture, but for practicality purposes, when I wake up in the mornings with 'bad feelings", the question is; what, in that precise moment can help me overcome these addictive habits to doom and gloom... First, it is the realization that the cycle of self-negation is a direct result of implanted fears which cause my disconnect to Source, along with a consistent application of self-remembering techniques all of which, begin and end with the same concept and understanding... my journey to the Divine rests on these words:
All "That" - is - Love - therefore - I Am - Love.

The Mask Of Illusion (From the Series: Interludes with Higher Mind)

2010-01-31T06:04:00.000-08:00

Remove the painted mask

reflecting a single point

of perception,

let the fullness of Being

behind these eyes,

at last, be seen

How I long to roll my existence

into a cocoon

transcending the elements

of this self-deceptive state…

If I could but cut these parts

that bring sorrow,

If I could but shed the skin

that taunts with mortality,

If I could, but lay down with thee

and never rise to see

the world of illusions

What blissful imagery

would permeate my mind,

What joy would fill my soul

The secrets are gone,

There is nothing left to hide,

Strip away the mask

And let it be …

Tell them who I am...

2010-01-17T09:53:00.000-08:00

www.indigoarts.com/news_haitimasters2004.html

(This is dedicated to the Landrin family)

Like so many around the world, Haiti is incessantly on my mind, but instead of speaking about what is happening right now, I would like to share an experience which imprinted the essence of its people on my soul.

Shortly after the birth of our daughter, I made my first trip to Haiti so my husband could introduce his wife and child to his family. The absolute warmth and sincerity which enveloped us, not just by Roger’s family and friends but even strangers, was overwhelming. My first impression of a Haitian’s fundamental nature, was their smile from ear to ear.

It was emotionally painful for me to be there as I empathized with the very difficult lives many Haitians lived, and in particular, the children. But at the same time, I was amazed by their genuine openness and ability to laugh rambunctiously, finding humor in the silliest things.

We did many incredible things, like visiting pristine beaches, watching artisans create masterpieces out of literally junk material, and I was even privy to witness a ‘voodoo’ ceremony. However, the day Roger decided to take me to visit an older lady who had helped take care of him as a child, is the day I met Haiti.

We drove through absolutely gorgeous countryside reminiscent of Jamaica, precarious mountainous roads which had me gripping the sides of my car seat, to finally arrive at this small two room wooden house in the country.

Roger had barely turned off the ignition when the front door opened and an elderly white haired lady peered out. I cannot fully describe her reaction when she recognized who it was, as she visibly buckled in her overwhelming joy at seeing him. Then of course, came the inevitable – smile from ear to ear. They both erupted in nonstop Creole (which I didn’t understand), but it was quite interesting to watch their body language. She was clearly beside herself at seeing him and kept repeating, “mwen piti Boy” (my little ‘Boy’ – he’s still called Boy to this day). She led us inside her small house and beckoned us to sit. I was introduced and though I could not say what I wanted, she clasped her hands over her mouth and I could see tears in her eyes. I was moved by her genuine emotions and her unadulterated love for this man whom she helped raise.

Though I do not remember her name, the fact that I am repeating this story eighteen years later, means that she rooted her Spirit in my heart, so I shall call her, Manman (Mother).

Manman and Roger chatted and laughed, each picking up the conversation within mere seconds of where the other left off. I watched transfixed. She then got up and went to a table in the corner of the small room. She rustled around for a few minutes and returned with a plate of bread, cut into small sections and about ten pieces of Haitian griot – (fried marinated pork). In that moment, I knew she was offering us her meal for that day and momentarily, I wanted to refuse for fear of eating the only food she had, but her eyes shone with such pride and honor that we were in her house, sharing those moments with her; I dared not offend this beautiful being. I told ‘Boy’ to tell her that I would love if she would join us. She seemed a bit perplexed at my request but almost immediately, broke into her wide smile. We had communion that day and I remember thinking, or more like praying, “Please teach me to be as self-less as she is”.

I have never seen Manman again, and do not fully understand why I remember her so profoundly or why since this disaster occurred; her memory has become even more distinct. It is as if her Spirit is with me, to remind me of the lesson in selflessness I so desperately wanted to emulate.

Whatever it is, on my first trip to Haiti I clearly met the soul of the Haitian people all wrapped up into this one little old lady with the endless smile.

For whatever reason, Manman wants me to tell you who she is, I only hope I am able to capture one tenth of the quality she, along with so many other Haitians, truly are. Bon'n sware Manman…. Mwen renmen'w

Tears will flow...

2010-01-13T18:36:00.000-08:00

Tears will flow like the river of blood in the streets of Haiti…

“For every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven”: A time to laugh… and yes, a time for weeping and gnashing of teeth. A season of mourning is upon us and weep we must, for what we feel as human beings…

If ever we doubted our inseparability, our brothers and sisters lying in the streets of Haiti remind us - What is endured by one inescapably becomes all - our lot...

Then comfort me not in this moment of anguish, instead let me weep like a Mother whose loss has disseminated her Being and let my wail be magnified by the thousands crying for help. Let my body heave with the pain inflicted upon my heart – but know this… when it is done, I will crawl into your loving embrace and lay down my weary head.

Let us drink then from this cup of bitterness put before us .

Unchanging Love - yes… Renewed Hope and Healing - yes… cometh with the rising sun but whilst we walk through the valley of death’s darkest night in this our season of sorrow... weep we must - for there is a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Can we hold the fort a little longer?

2009-12-31T08:35:00.000-08:00

Years of effort do produce transformation from being gripped by the inability to let go of thoughts, emotions, feelings we dont want to have anymore. There comes a moment when we stand on the ledge between two realitites. Tasting the peace that passeth all understanding yet, still succumbing to mental chaos and inner disquiet... if even to a lesser degree.

''all the years of holding on
despite my doubts and all my fears,
hardnening my will,
affirming my truths...
so I won't be
in this place
where I,
stand alone... nerak

Consistent practice to incoporate new ways of thinking, over time creates a definite gap between our triggered reactions and moments when there is enough clarity to make conscious choices. Once the mind has been stretched... it cannot go back.

Those who've been at this for a while know, in terms of thoughts and behavior, they are definitely not the same as they were, 5 or 10 years ago. There are people fundamentally shifting levels of consciousness all the time. Reflecting on our growth is like seeing a child you haven't seen in a while and are shocked at how much they've grown. Sometimes, our thinking anew has ripple effects at deeper levels in our belief system, that it may not be immediately obvious how much the tree has been shaken.

If I am able to walk with a quiet mind, allowing existence to present itself to me - fresh in each moment, my mind becoming an open vessel - receiving - instead of seeking to define what each thing is, truly - is bliss.

Sincerity in our intentions towards our process of inner growth is a great facilitator of energy re-alignment. The Universe responds with absolute accuracy as to the events we need to move forward. If however, we think in one vein and act in another, our experiences will be just as conflicted. There are no brownie points for getting the world to laud our efforts if our hearts tell a different story. "Man looks at the outer appearance but God sees the heart". It can only be what it is.

Acceptance is - allowing everything happening in our lives its honorary place in time and space. Conflict arises because we become uncomfortable in certain situations and wrestle with 'fixing it". There is a time to act and a time to sit back and observe. Wisdom is in discerning right action for the moment.

Change comes without the blowing of trumpets or parades. It is transpiring in each quiet moment oftentimes without our conscious realization.There is the day when we realize, we feel more comfortable in our skin and our internal waves of anxiety are less and less. Watch in silence and let unwanted thoughts and feelings flow through you like leaves... floating unresistingly, down the river...

Hold the fort a little longer... change cometh and with it, the re-newing of our minds.

my coding in you

2009-12-20T10:39:00.000-08:00

touched...

2009-12-20T09:45:00.000-08:00

I have been touched,
the gentlest sensation -

calming the storm,
silencing the voices…

Except, for that one small voice
preserving...

Lion or Lamb - personality vs Individuality

2009-12-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

As I write this, I am doing my own mental reflections since the truth is, I will not speak of things that I am not trying to apply in my own life. It is always a work in progress...

If I ask, who am I - there are many who could give synopsis of my personality based on past behavior and would even be able to conjure in their minds, some notion of what kind of human being I am, but how can that be, when I myself, don't even know who I am.

I was given a neat little code book of bahavioral rules, the purpose of which was to make me acceptable in society. I make no waves, I stay within the confines of the box. But who says, the worlds' view of who I should be, is who I want to be and more importantly, who I truly am? And what if, what they say I should be, makes me restless and unfulfilled?

I was taught to respect my adults, even if they were in the process of dissing and breaking down my self-esteem, I was expected to politely say, "yes Mam" - (even for the lack of understanding of Spirit and the chipping away at my wholesome perception of self. ) No 'back-talking' allowed, so we stuffed all the discontent within, building a reservoir of negative thoughts and feelings of volcanic proportions.

"the image we have of ourselves comes not from our own direct experience but from the opinions of others. A 'personality' imposed from the outside relacing the individuality that could have grown from within" - Osho

What ends up happening is, most of us have similar viewpoints regarding the 'dos' and donts' of our existence and though we try to differentiate ourselves by the way we wear our hair or the styling of clothes we choose, where it really matters - true expression of individuality - most of us, look no further than our conditioned thinking. Society has very little tolerance for others with differing perceptions. We ostracize with labels and stereotypes. Dismissed, because they do not have the herd mentality. But what if, these 'abnormal' beings, are the ones who have found the secret to 'individuality' and in so doing, freedom of being?

"We become just another sheep in the herd, unable to move freely and unconscious of our own true identity" - Osho

I am grateful for that volcano of discontent, as it propelled a search to re-learn and regain an individual essence. The truth therefore is, you don't know me just as I don't know myself, as who I was yesterday, may not be who I am today. This journey of self-discovery is constantly evolving and with it a stream of new levels of consciousness.

"Unless you drop your personality, you will not be able to find your individuality. Individuality is given by existence, personality is imposed by society - a mere social convenience" - Osho

I am in the process of re-aligning my belief system to embrace Universal principles. This gives birth to new thoughts and bahavior which makes using the paradigm of my actions from years ago, or even yesterday to define me, is meaningless. The practice of awareness is constantly revealing my errors in thinking and with it, new lessons to be learnt and new mind-sets to cement each and every moment.

There is a difference in unconsciously repeating patterns in our thinking we never question, and consciously redirecting our sense of self towards an innate feeling of 'rightness'.

Osho tells an old Zen story about a lion who was brought up by sheep and grew up thinking he was a sheep. One day an older lion took him to a pond and showed him his own reflection. We are that lion, made to believe that we are sheep. The sheep moves in the crowd, the lion moves alone. We are born lions but society has programmed us to be sheep, with a molded personality...
Today, as I gaze into that pond, loving every new sensation reflecting back at me, I lift my head, throw back my mane... and roar...

Change

2009-11-26T09:08:00.000-08:00

then...

consciously,
engage

in,

affecting change

in the realm

of our collective thinking -

by
fostering,

mind-sets of;

Harmony,

within our Selves,

Tolerance for all,

God's creations...

Love,

without

expectations

or conditions..

Change,

begins...

me...

"So be it; truly"

the Corrective power of Affirmations

2009-11-22T05:45:00.000-08:00

Affirmations: To affirm is to make a statement asserting the existence or truth of something. We’ve heard the word, over and over in spiritual circles, but understanding just how powerful this practice of 'affirming' is, to our internal development, is vital. Affirmations can be: our deliberate intention to "foster a new way of being".

From birth, we have been fed information from parents, teachers, peers, the media, the world at large, which we absorbed as truths about ourselves and existence. Growing up, we didn't question the source of the information or the information itself, since almost everyone around us, was also accepting these attitudes to life - as the way things run.

In varying degrees, we've all been brainwashed. Since making our appearance, we've been fed bits of information, without an opportunity to test their validity or, our own true - "inner" - feelings about them. We digested regurgitated information to construct a belief system defining our perceptions of reality. (I could go off on stories about those of us who felt the internal quake of discontent from an early age but instead, chose to follow the 'norm' and ended up living such excruciating internal conflict... but that's another post. )

We are creatures of habit, repeating patterns of behavior because our psychological evaluation is, it makes us feel safe. Impressions of experiences are repeated over and over because, we keep 'willing' it into being. It is what we know.

The 'renewing of the mind' is, repeatedly introducing 'new' information into our thinking process - causing the mind to halt, (even for a second), and question our true intention and desire. That split second - creates a gap - an eternal portal - between consciousness and habitual responses.

It is Affirmation time...

Affirmations should be little statements of what we intuit as real - a resounding feeling of 'rightness' in our hearts. Make them short, clear and to the point. There ought to be an emotional 'umph'. If you come face to face with information that resonates and want to foster as a 'new' mind set, use your own language, your own symbolisms to imprint the vibration of who you are - and affirm.

Something reflecting my desire to be more at one with the 'flow' may read like this - 'I relax and accept what is in my life, allowing the Universal process to unfold harmoniously." Whilst somebody else may lay it down as; "Jesus take the wheel.."

Meaningful affirmations have more power to seep into the grooved patterns of our thinking. Saying it, creates a small opening to re-focus our perspectives.

Write them down.. Visually make them as artistic or simple as you wish... (though conjuring our creative powers at this time may not be a bad notion as putting more effort ( = energy) into preparation, adds more intensity), and paste them in strategic areas in your house. It is a deliberate intention for each time we go to these areas, we remind ourselves to be aware. Two favorite spots of mine are; the mirror and fridge. Just think how often we go there unconsciously. I choose the mirror as serving two purposes, to also consistently remind self, 'I am - so much more than my body'. So there's a two-fer : )

If we don't continually bring attention through-out the day to the new 'thought', it will wither away like seeds fallen on rocky ground. The pull of our conditioning is too strong for this newly developing state... Affirmations are spiritual food to our psyche and as vital as, water is to a newly planted seed.

Affirming aloud, introduces the dimension of sound waves which disrupt existing energy patterns. When intention, desire, new thought, sound, repetition are put together, we have an antidote - for reprogramming... Repetition propelled by sincerity and desire, is key to creating a shift in consciousness. We are essentially re-hypnotizing ourselves.

However old we are, is however long we have been re-enforcing false beliefs as our truths, (and that's just in this lifetime!). It will take effort to keep chipping away at the erroneous information encrusted on our minds, bodies and psyche. Our coding - the blueprint of 'That' we are - is within - and one day, then another and another, we realize we are having more - Presence in awareness - we are transforming - and not just momentarily, but solidly - for good. We see, there is no other way to go, but onward in our efforts. Once the mind has been stretched, it cannot go back.

A great way to begin an affirmation is with: I am ..... (then add whatever quality or state of mind you want to embrace as your own). I am... is an affirmation in itself, reigniting our eternal union to the Omniscient - I AM, THAT I AM.

I therefore, leave you with three words: Affirm, Affirm, Affirm!

The unsung Hero

2009-11-08T05:23:00.000-08:00

As a child I used to cry for Judas,

When I heard of his treachery,

I said in my innocence,

“If it were not for Judas,

How would my Lord have fulfilled

The events foretold by prophets?”

Records would tell a different story

And where would I be today?

Judas my brother,

You sacrificed in the name of humanity

Surrendering the potential of your greatness

To wear the mask of evil in the final drama,

Choosing instead, to go down in history

As the lowest of all men…

The betrayer of Jesus Christ

Who is there amongst you, but Judas

to undertake this assignment,

Who has the courage to point

The damning finger -

And did my Savior not turn to you and say,

“What thou doest, do quickly”

You my friend,

Were instrumental in guaranteeing

The final act of delivering death

as the pathway to eternal life.

Yours, was the kiss of destiny

I no longer cry for Judas

As in sacrificing his integrity,

He was instrumental in

Unveiling our Divinity.

Glimpses of a vision

2009-11-04T04:42:00.000-08:00

Last night…
I had a vision
or maybe,
just glimpses of one,

Whatever it was
convinced me
unconditionally
we are connected beyond
our ability to grasp
in this moment

As I write this,
I have faint recollections
of a time long ago
when unified energies
were luminous stars
in the night’s dark sky

We are forever sealed
with the Universal blueprint
to be so again...

The mission is unfolding,

The course of the wind
has changed
and carries with it,
our call to Harvest

I can taste its intrinsic nature

Concern not ourselves
with the details
Simply,
Visualize
the
Vision

That two-faced ego

2009-11-02T05:34:00.000-08:00

I've read and heard people say, we have to kill or destroy our egos or whatever, but in my mind, the ego cannot be destroyed. It has a purpose while we are in our physical bodies. The mind interprets abstract information and processes it into concrete impressions so we can absorb and understand for this physical reality. The presence of an ego enables us to establish a somewhat real sense of - who am I that is in this space and time. So rather than trying to destroy something that cannot be destroyed, my objective then, is to change the face of my ego... Which ego-face do I wear, that of the Divine or the self-made small minded, 'i'?
(For this article, Ego is the Higher Self while ego is the little, fragmented 'i".)

There are many phases of the journey as insight and growth open up different levels of understanding along the way. Right there with all these new states of consciousness, is that pesky little ego, constantly trying to find ways of inserting itself in the mix, in it's persistent effort to manipulate our new 'truths' into some form of self-worship.

It is always a subtle and delicate dance between the adoration and awe in recognizing one's Divine Self and the self-made egos wanting to present itself as running the show.
I am never afraid to shine a light on the ways of the ego and all the pitfalls it presents in my journey because whether it takes me one day or years to transcend it 's countless methods of trickery, sharing may very well be of service to another in remaining mindful of these very same traps.

Early in the journey, the joy in hearing and understanding universal 'truths' about our Divine nature is so thrilling and tantalizing that there is the ego's temptation of wanting to run around spouting these bits of information as if we've arrived, but a wise man (Osho) once said, (paraphrasing), unless you have lived these 'truths' and made them your own, unless they have become your knowing for having experienced them in your lives, they remain 'hearsay', things you have heard but don't know... I embraced that advise and tried to keep my mouth shut about matters I have never lived... because I also realized when we speak from a place of hearsay, there is no passion in our speech, as it is not fueled by the authenticity of be-ing.

Truly understanding the concept that everything in existence is the same energy, vibrating at different frequencies creating the appearance of separateness, highlights the stark realization that we are all truly One-energy - the culmination of which = the Source therefore, what affects another invariably affects me. Consequently, our Divine Ego, sees life and existence in universal, all inclusive expressions. If I hurt you, I am hurting myself.. so my unfailing effort is to perpetually do unto you as I would do unto mine own self. This is the underlying basis in understanding which ego-face we wear in every moment. Are my thoughts and actions self-motivating at the expense of others, or do they have the intention of ultimately benefiting the good of all.

I also read somewhere; "Spirit is beyond being hurt" by others' words and actions. Now whilst I've held this as my ideal mind-set and attitude clearly, it is a life-long effort to continuously be mindful when dealing with all the situations we find ourselves where we feel; victimized, belittled, betrayed, insulted and so on. But again it goes back to asking self the question, who is feeling hurt? Everything is a matter of perception, so invariably it is the little ego of "i" which feels affronted in these situations. I believe this is where Jesus recommended we, "turn the other cheek" - to epitomize our Divine Ego - the image in which we are created.

Each of us developed an ego for self identification and continued existence in this world. The malady is, we have accepted the world's ever-fluctuating version of what that should be hence, there is much dissatisfaction and un-fulfillment in our lives simply because we can never keep up. On the other hand, the version of our Divine Ego remains constant since that symbolical moment in the Garden of Eden right before the separated mind became a part of the mix and began the creation of the disconnected and self-serving ego. We are such amazing beings that we have created a rather complex and sometimes mystifying false ego. In our minds we think and do things with the mindset of benefiting our circumstances but because we are oftentimes driven by selfish motives which goes against the flow of Universal principles, we end up hurting our own selves. We worship a false ego whose only mission is to destroy our inherent Godliness... so in effect, we think we are doing things to benefit self, but end up attracting the opposite.

The good news is.. no matter how far and wide we traverse to live the illusion and play the role of the small ego, we can never destroy the face of our intrinsic nature. Thank God, creation indelibly stamped who and what we are, so that any moment in any day.... should we choose... we can look though the eyes and re-call the Mind of our Dvine Ego and reclaim our authentic Self. So every day when we look into that mirror before we face the world... ask self the question; which ego face do I wear today?

I am - in love with Jesus

2009-10-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

As 'off the wall' as that may sound, it is true. I did not say I love Jesus, I said; I - am - in - love with Jesus. He's my 'home' boy.

I grew up hearing christian theology from birth and I don't know how many other children out there at the age of five, upon hearing the story of his crucifixion, which re-played every Easter, shed tears like a river as if the painful, humiliating and sorrowful tale was happening to them. Yes, at five - I wept for Jesus.

Then came the dis-enchantment stage when I was angry with Jesus. Angry because I wanted to be just like Christ, but had serious problems reconciling with my inner emotional turmoil. All the stories of him in the Bible spoke of his words and actions but not one addressed the emotional reality of human beings - how he felt, therefore I was lost. What to do with the overwhelming torrents of toxic emotions wanting to consume me and though I searched for clues as to how he found his peace, the closest I came was - Jesus wept... well, wept I did, but still my angst, remained.

So I went looking and found another - I fell in love with Buddah. He held my hand and gently guided me in the ways of mindfulness which tamed my restless soul. When my fears assaulted me, I witnessed the onslaught... it was happening, but not to me. I rubbed my hands on his belly rolls and learnt to laugh at my follies. And though Buddah held my mind in his sweet embrace, my heart belonged to Jesus.

I kept coming back to the - One - who first planted the seed of Divinity in me and though I ignored him for many years, he never left me, silent but ever-present. I don't know whether he actually spoke of the process of his transcendence over his human conditioning and the disciples just neglected to write it down, but I was back - face to face - with the one who brought a five year old to tears. So, what now my love?

The first words I ever heard in physics class were: "energy cannot be created or destroyed". Well then, if we are all vibrating fields of energy, somewhere out there - my Jesus lives! I went in search of this being who first stole my heart. What was abundantly clear to me, this man whilst occupying a physical body understood the all encompassing nuances of living the human experience and was able to re-connect with his Higher consciousness while in the flesh. Ha! His vibration therefore, has absorbed all the elements of the entire journey... and is out there somewhere!

I began the exercise of re-connecting with my true love, by targeting the qualities I wanted to emulate from his earthly sojourn such as; compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, kindness and unconditional love. One of my meditation exercises was to invite the Christ energy into my consciousness, to literally 'feel' his pulse as my own. If I am to believe the principles of energy, then this is as real as my inhaling the life force in every breath. With time and consistent effort, I was bringing to fruition "coming to the father by me" - with every in and exhalation. I have no need to see a face, his rhythm sustains my being, his voice whispers tenderness... and I am re-united with love.

Our love affair is eternal and when I walked through that valley of death and fear threatened to choke the very breath from my body, 'home' boy's love held the beating of my heart, his strength kept mine eyes firmly fixed on 'home'. How could I not be but in love... with love...

my blessed love...

2009-10-24T10:17:00.000-07:00

Today,

I am feeling somewhat out of sorts

More like sad really,

But I cannot imagine why

There is a radio playing in the background

and the delicate melody

lingers in my head,

I get sentimental

And I want to cry,

But I cannot imagine why

Then realization hits me,

You shattered

walls of protection

I carefully built around me

invading

my inner chambers

and opened my heart

You illuminated

the blossom desperately

desiring to be in full bloom

and aroused embers

longing to dance

in their robes of fiery flames,

You renewed my yearning

for the promise of blessed love

Then why am I sad?

Because now,

I am vulnerable

The Rebel waits

2009-10-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

The solitary

figure
Stands

in the distance,
head held high

Sparks from his eyes
penetrate
the darkest corners

No one dares approach
As his strength is imminent

Who is this stranger,
And what is his quest?

His is the restlessness
of Soul waiting
for the moment
man awakens
from his unconscious
traverse through time

Be patient my rebel,
your time is at hand

The art of doing 'almost' nothing

2009-10-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

It seems the more 'civilized' we become as a species, the more overwhelming our lives are. There is always something to do and clearly single parents have the double-task of fulfilling both roles of mother and father.

The energy of living in the United States is so much faster than say, when I lived in Jamaica. Everything here appears to function on a schedule, making it easier to get caught up in an automated mindset. Multi-tasking has become the consummate catch phrase and definitely a pre-requisite to landing a job here. It is no surprise then, we have programmed our minds to fast-forward mode just to keep up with all that is required of us. We are constantly check-listing the 'done' and 'to do' lists in our minds otherwise we feel, we are being left behind on this path to success. Afterall, everyone else is moving right along, so we cannot tarry.

Technology is our best friend and worse enemy. There are folks who cannot live without their blackberries; while driving, walking, on vacation. It is like having a second shadow. I have yet to own a cell phone... yes, I may be one of the few persons still on the planet not having one, and though I have made no great vow against it, I have yet to reconcile with that insistent, persistent, 'ring, ring'.

When I go to work, I am prepared to deal with, 'whatever'; whether it's the countless phone calls, or whichever difficult situations needing to be resolved. I am in the zone to work through any and all situations presented to me.

My home is my sanctuary. When I walk through that door at the end of each day, I must literally feel as if I am entering a different dimension. I have created a beautiful garden in my back yard to simply, sit. The colors on my walls, the things I have chosen to occupy space there, all conjure a 'feeling' and symbolically represent a nurturing frame of mind. There are days when there is no TV, days when there is no computer and yes, days when there is no phone. (I sincerely apologize to my family for the times of having to deal with the answering machine :) They know however, that this is my way of maintaining my balance so they end up living with a more loving and calm being - not a bad trade off guys...

The art of doing 'almost' nothing requires us in those moments to not have an agenda. How many can truly take time off and resist the temptation of succumbing to the urge, from the barrage of countless to-do tasks running through our heads? To let everything be still for ten or fifteen minutes, whist we indulge in a fabulous bubble bath, or really listen to the melodies of our favorite music, to mindfully prepare and savor the flavors of a meal, or sit and admire the intricate configuration of a beautiful flower...

We must find our place of refuge to shut out the chaos from the outside world - if only for a short while. What I speak of, is more than simply physically being inactive. It goes a bit further by mentally refraining from getting caught up in the... checklist of all the things you could and should be doing. It will require practice because we are programmed to do, all the time. This is what has happened to our culture; the faster we go, the more things we can jam into our 24 hours. There's a commercial where the Mom flips some all-in-one-meal from the microwave and the kid catches it on his way out the door... This imagery is supposed to not only typify our lives but is also sending the subliminal message that we need to go even faster. "What is life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare, no time to sit beneath the bows and stare as long as sheep or cows..."

If - it is proving difficult to let go of the mental check-lists, then add one more and move it right up there to the top... I need to practice the art of doing 'almost' nothing. Do this for self, as it creates a more energized and focused person, who can better deal with the rest of the other 'stuff'.

Fear...

2009-10-08T06:32:00.000-07:00

There is a fear that sometimes haunts me

As I look to the cold and desolate world,

That one day I may lose myself to its illusions

And become its harsh reality

The thought sets my body trembling,

dark clouds descend

I have been here before

So now, I go within...

pulling the blanket of love around me

letting its warmth penetrate my skin

I close my eyes and listen

To the soft melody of my heart

Lulling me back to peace

Once again my spirit soars

To the pinnacle of understanding

My being is filled with happiness.

I lay down my head and I know,

Oh yes Lord…

I am home.

I get it...

2009-10-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

I've called my spiritual journey - the plod-along-method. I do so because in retrospect, from the last 25 + years of consciously absorbing and assimilating information to re-train my thinking, I clearly see now... had I fully recognized the futility in dragging out some of my dis-eased states and, in those moments had I accepted some major realizations with complete clarity, I wouldn't have spent so many years chained to those debilitating mindsets.

Let me say:
I have no regrets for my experiences, as I believe to my core, it all went down exactly as it should have, leading me to exactly where I am supposed to be in this precise moment. I internalized everything, including my spiritual search. There weren't too many people in my world back then to discuss my delicate and tentative understanding. I had not assimilated by way of consistent practice, these newly adopted principles enough to cement them in my belief system, so back in those days, I was like a tree planted in rocky ground.

Besides, the more we grow and learn, the more we grasp a view of the big picture of our lives enabling us to see how one thing is connected to the next and so on. There are a few insights however, which if grasped in their fullness can effect an immediate shift in consciousness - 'in the twinkling of an eye'.

Self Pity - is an incapacitating state that sucks one's energy like a balloon losing air. The ego revels in self pity and many of us have invested our entire sense of selves playing the victim. For many years we unconsciously define our identity as one of those tragic Shakespearean characters causing us to look outside self for the reasons of our great distress, blaming everyone and everything else thereby, severely delaying the inevitable act of looking at the real source of the distasteful experiences we are having: me-myself and I.

Acceptance: I have accumulated some seriously faulty beliefs that are bringing negative circumstances to me. As obnoxious as these beliefs are - guess what? They are not what or who I am. Again, they are a false way of thinking and can be changed the moment I choose to replace them with better serving information. Whenever your mind wants to go outside itself to seek the source of your unhappiness, remind yourself - I attract everything in my life, so let's start with me.

You have no idea the hornet's nest we stir up when we send energy such as; anger, hate, revenge etc. on to other people as our way of reconciling our 'bad' feelings - remember we are energy fields and sending out these kinds of vibrations is merely asking the Universe to send like-energy back to us... not a good move.

Guilt: is a doozy as it goes hand in hand with the role of the victim - I grew up in the Christian religion and inhaled it's 'sinner and eternal damnation' teaching like a drug addict. Since I was such a sinner, then of course, it was just reward that I lived such misey. Spending precious moments feeling guilty for things we did in the past and projecting said guilt into our future is like a fly caught in a spider's web.

Acceptance: If we knew better we would do better. In an enlightened state no one would consciously call unhappiness into his life. Accept that we are trying to make choices with flawed information. It's like being in a class where the teacher passes on incorrect lessons so when we take the test of course, we are going to give wrong answers. We cannot change the past, so what's the point of beating ourselves up over that which we have no control? Once we learn the consequences from past actions, remain mindful not to repeat them. Guilt keeps us chained in its hell until we make that conscious decision not to identify the essence of who we are with our erroneous thinking.

For the clever egos that think I am giving excuses for our behavior, remember the Law of Attraction is unfailing which means, faulty thinking or not - we invariably attract what we are convinced of therefore, will live our Karma. We cannot bypass the energy we attract but we can minimize the time we get psychologically bogged down in our self-destructive mindsets.

One of the most important recognition to ensure we don't stagnate our journey is to speak the truth and speak it ever - to self. I know how the ego is, we engage in projecting the 'best' image of who we are to the world and oftentimes try to convince ourselves why we do things, but deep down - there is always the 'truth of our intentions'. “Man looks on the outward appearance, but God sees the Heart.”

No matter how much we may want to play the game with the rest of the world - drop the practice of trying to lie to ourselves. This is a major deciding factor in our growth. Making excuses to self is an attempt to not feel 'guilty' for our behavior which initiates the cycle of 'O woe is me'... and round and round we go embedding deeper into that spider's web. Be glaringly truthful, as it opens the door to recognizing the false information in our subconscious creating our undesirable circumstances.

We are fabulously, wonderful creatures who have been given some really self-destructive instructions, so let's leave those burdensome textbooks behind, find a classroom more befitting our glorious nature and move forward in light and love...

And where is your god now....

2009-09-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

They want to know

With mocking eyes and cynical smiles

“And where is your God now?”
They hiss over and over
Until it reverberates in my head
Like a never-ending echo...

Who are my tormentors
And what do they want with me?

They are my impending doubts and fears
Ready to pounce and pick
Me to pieces until I am
Fragmented and isolated

They infiltrate my mind
Digging deeper and deeper
intending to magnify my limitations
And consume my being

Their voices resonate
From the subconscious,
Mocking my troubled soul,
“Oh how the mighty has fallen,”

Quickly and in succession
They orchestrate a monumental
Onslaught to invade and destroy...

My conviction diminishes
as they administer the last rites,
“And where is your God now,
Why has she not come to your aid?”

I feel myself faltering
I taste the saltiness of my tears
My world begins to spin
And I am in the vortex

With a last effort,
I manage a feeble cry,
“My God, my God,
Save me from this cycle
of birth and death
that binds me”

The Heavens open
Lightening streaks across the sky,
Thunder roars above

The Force smites my enemies
Scattering them to the four corners
Of purgatory

Smiting them again….
they are, no more...

My diseased mind
Is laid upon holy ground
Angels tend my wounds

A voice vibrates the
cellule of all creation...
“I come to defend
what is mine”

And where is your God now?
She hath come to claim me...

Magic Tears

2009-09-20T08:35:00.001-07:00

There's an ocean out there somewhere with my name.

Created with every teardrop that has fallen from mine eyes… cleansing waters, a sea of healing release. I dive deeply into its magical elixir and my spirit is renewed.

I had a nickname as a child – “setting hen” – because I cried so much. I now discern that there was tremendous inner discomfort from being in my skin, not because of appearance, but because I felt trapped by its cellular restrictions. I didn’t understand nor could I express those subtle sensations but clearly, my spirit had not come to terms with removing its wings to settle into this body… and so, I cried.

Oh the world could never know the ways and places I have cried. I felt things so deeply I could not vocalize. And only God can tell you how many tears have fallen from mine eyes…. there’s an ocean with my name on it.   

“What spoils do I have for my days of toiling 
Except a tear-stained face 
and a heart of neglected desires? 

I once heard that god counts every tear 
that falls from our eyes. 
Then tell me Heavenly One, 
How many tears have I thus far shed
along the way and how many more
must fall from eyes  before
I stand On hallowed Ground?” nerak  

Tears saved my life. I am grateful. They helped me stay connected to my feelings and emotions. We live in a culture, which thinks the only way to survive is to build walls around our feelings to guard against being hurt. Men in particular have been conditioned, not to cry. Women too are becoming seduced by this thinking. Several labels come to mind; wimp, sappy, weak, emo…

but un-ease was already coursing through my meridians like a bubbling brook…. too late, I needed another way… so I cried.  

The act or better yet, the art of crying has special value - Crying helps us let go of pain and allows us to be vulnerable and open for healing.  

“Scientists have found emotional tears release chemicals which stress accumulates in our bodies. Biochemist William Frey explains our lacrimal gland, which regulates tear secretion, contains manganese - a necessary mineral associated with our moods. Tears remove this concentrated mineral from our bodies. The concentration of manganese is 30 times greater in tears than in blood serum. Emotional tears contain 24% more protein than irritants (onion slicing) tears.”  

This Creator pre-knew, our human trek would require periodic release from the stress of our own making. Working through our emotional pain by far, is the most difficult task we can ever undertake especially if it is particularly deep, as we oftentimes try to hide it, even from our own selves.  

Crying is medicine. It breaks down pent up emotions and un-ease in our bodies releasing them through every gut-wrenching heave and tear drop falling from our eyes. Letting go of toxic emotions by crying, prevents them from manifesting as dis-eases. After a really good session, as the sobs began to subside, I was always overcome by a deep sense of peace. Oh how I loved those moments … of no-mind, just soothing calm.  

I began to look upon my need to cry as, sacred time, going to the soul for precious healing…. an emotional sanctuary my Holy comforter. (Our English word for comfort comes from two Latin words meaning; "to strengthen.”)  

These days, I don't cry so much. Witnessing my thoughts and emotions affords me the presence of mind to explore and deal with my state of being in each moment and avoid toxic build-up. I suppose like many other techniques we use along the way; such as meditation, there comes a day when we become the process in our every breathing moment...

No one needs know how or when you go, but go you must. Let it be… every fear, doubt, sorrow or pain wanting to consume you… consciously feel them, and let the tears flow….

 “Every tear that falls from our eyes 
Now adorns the celestial skies…”  
Go forth and cry to peace..

The nature of forgiveness

2009-09-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Forgiveness is one of those things when given, does more for the giver than the intended receiver. I confess, it is a difficult concept to fully integrate in a sincere way, as it means moving beyond the ego’s perceptions of feeling wronged, to a place of deep connection with another human being…

Most of us live in the ego’s realm of being separate from each other therefore, raised to look out for our selves. We develop an internal alarm that goes off whenever we feel threatened by external forces. Over time, we establish a very keen sensor to others’ words and actions for indications of being attacked which in turn, kicks our defense mechanism into action. We then react according to whatever ego patterns have become our conditioned behavior matching the circumstances. Most of the time we are reacting against perceived hurt against our ego-selves.

I once read a long time ago, “Spirit is beyond being hurt”. I understood what this means on the level of spirit, but such a notion seemed out of touch and illusive in the “real’ world of human interactions. It took me a really long time to fully assimilate that our God-self only ‘sees’ another individual in his Divine state, exactly the way the Creator ‘sees’ us, its creations… perfect in Her sight. How then can our human intellect go beyond the physical, mental, emotional and psychological abuse caused by others?

Herein lays the crux of forgiveness. When we come to a place of deep spiritual insight, we realize that each of us, in varying degrees have accepted erroneous information into our belief system which we live out everyday. At the core, the further away from believing we are loving and lovable beings, the more likely we are to inflict hurt on others and ourselves. When we are able to ‘see’ the other as a spiritual being living the experiences of learnt behavior, it becomes a bit easier to separate ourselves from the perceived hurt because essentially, it is really about the other person’s lack of awareness of his true nature.

If we actually get this, it creates a huge shift of consciousness in how we interact with each other. This knowledge is also the heart of compassion. If I am able to understand that you are behaving this way because somewhere within you, is the memory of being hurt yourself and are acting from this place of fear and self-recrimination, then who am I to add anger to your already existing pain….

Instead, with my understanding, I offer forgiveness and compassion. Acknowledging and sympathizing with this individual's conditioning supersede all notions of my personal ego feeling affronted.

Then there are those horrifying life changing events that many would say are unforgivable. I speak of murder, rape and so on. Obviously, I can only speak from my own experiences. Yes, I too have had to dig very deeply into my being to become conscious enough, to live this very principle I speak of. It is not an easy undertaking especially if the experience happened as a young child where the memories and the associated pain are embedded intensely into one’s psyche and sense of self however, if we ever want to be free, then it is an inevitable mission - to forgive, the accused.

On a more tangible level, remember our every thought and emotion is a wave of energy. “The Human Energy Field, is a complex combination of overlapping energy patterns which define the unique spiritual, mental, emotional and physical makeup of an individual.”

Holding on to anger, hurt, or other negative emotions associated with these kinds of experiences affect our physiology taking a toll on our bodies and emotional well-being. In addition, the culmination of our energy vibrations transmits to the Universe which in turn, sends back matching vibrations becoming our physical reality. (we attract those things that we are in vibrational resonance with).

It becomes imperative to release these toxic emotions within us, as we are continually allowing them to dictate a certain aspect of the experiences coming into our lives. On one level, we are permitting the accused to keep ‘hurting’ us over and over again….

The comic in me, sees this as some kind of ingenious Cosmic arrangement – “none can be free until he first frees his brother”… How many times should I forgive him … Seventy times seven. (Being no math whiz, I'll take this to mean - countless : )

The nature of forgiveness is an intricate dance of inter-connection between humans where I elevate my own being by first, ‘lifting up’ he who I perceive has wronged me. Only in God’s world…. does this non-sense make sense.

Spiritual Wealth

2009-09-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

Like so many others, I am also trying to re-align my beliefs of lack and limitations to an innate sense of spiritual wealth and abundance however, I also know that it has to be a very holistic approach where the focus on money or abundance cannot usurp basic spiritual principles such as unconditional love, forgiveness, tolerance, compassion and so on.

I therefore, have become very wary of the many sources of information putting forth messages of attracting wealth in an extremely imbalanced way which frankly, have not resonated within me. Until...

I came upon an article by Dr. Susan Corso which offered an approach that felt so right. It is with her permission, I am happy and honored to share her thoughts with you:

10 Spiritual Ways to Approach Money: by Dr. Susan Corso

Prosperity. Abundance. Opulence. Plenty. Is your heart resonating "Yes" to these words? How about moolah. Dough. Greenbacks. Bread. Cash. Is your heart still saying "Yes," or are you having a more complicated reaction? Money and fear tend to be intertwined--especially right now, as the stock market flips and flops, and the word "subprime" gets tossed around. In this gallery, Dr. Susan Corso offers counsel on what we can focus on instead of the anxiety--like connecting with unlimited abundance and prosperity, the ultimate Federal Reserve.

Make Peace with Your Financial Past
What is your money history? Take time to write about this in your journal. Write whatever comes to mind, no censoring. Make time to reflect on your past actions with money and make peace with it. No matter what it is. Where you see flaws, forgive yourself. It is only when you accept where you're starting from that you can begin to go forward.

Ask God for Help:
One of divinity's traditional names is Providence, the all-provider. God/Goddess/Spirit is intimately involved in all aspects of our lives, and finances are no exception. If human economics hasn't worked for you in the past, what do you have to lose? Try spiritual economics: where there is demand, supply will appear. Address your request to God, let go, and joyfully expect an answer. Give thanks every day and listen within: You'll be guided if there are actions to take.

Remember that Debt is Trust:
First, think about what debt means: Someone (or some company) trusted you would be good for the money. Now turn within and from the place inside you that knows what's so, look to Providence and give your trust over to all provision, a.k.a. Spirit, God/dess, Nature, Wonder. Clearing up debt is about learning to trust yourself and Providence.

Visualize the Flow:
There are two major modes for dealing with money in life: circulation and congestion. Circulation is paying bills, tithing, giving to charity. Congestion is hoarding, saving for a rainy day, being stingy. It's no coincidence that one word for money is currency; it comes from the word current, which means flow. When you congest around money, the flow stops. Money, by its nature, flows. Picture yourself and your money in the flow.

Set Your Intention:
Intention is everything when it comes to manifestation. What do you want money for? Do you want a new pair of shoes to match your new suit? Great. Do you want to start a foundation for homeless children? Great. The wild thing is, it doesn't matter to God as long as you intend the highest good for all. Tell yourself your intention, share it with God through prayer, and listen for guidance.

Pray Your Bills:
Yes, of course, pay your bills, but first, PRAY your bills. Put them all in your lap, sit quietly, and pray for each bill. Give thanks for the service you received, and pray that you and your loved ones may continue to enjoy what each bill represents. For example, your utility bill can bring to mind a warm home in winter, hot meals, and clean water to drink. While you're at it, send the same blessing to those who helped provide for you.

Be Conscious of Your Judgments:
Okay, let's really get into it now: resentment, envy, finger-pointing. Where you have judgments, you only hurt yourself! Try these on: Rich people are miserly; the IRS is a dirty, rotten scoundrel, the oil companies are greedy, money is the root of all evil (the misquote most often used about money). It's really very simple to get clear around money: Just wish for others what you would wish for yourself!

less Your Money:
Whatever you praise increases. Praise works to increase anything, both the positive and the negative. Why? Because you are showing interest in it. The activity of praising is blessing. Bless your money! Every penny of it. Blessing is also a form of gratitude. You are thanking God for the money you have in order to create more money.

Receive Graciously:
There is a cost to giving, dear one. The cost of giving is receiving. Conversely, the cost of receiving is giving. It's a wondrous cycle of circles where we all participate in all of its phases at all times. Learn to receive graciously! You go to lunch with a friend who has just gotten a raise. She offers to buy you lunch to celebrate. Do you let her? You let money out, don't you? Now, let money in.

Share the Wealth:
You do not need to have a lot of money in order to give to others. Ask yourself, Where am I wealthy? Start your giving there. Do you have extra time? Give time. Extra money? Give money. Extra talent? Give talent. The feelings associated with genuine joyous giving are to be cultivated.

Secret: Wealth attracts wealth!

For the full version of Dr, Susan Corso's article:
Omnifaith Financial Surplus Practices

To jump or not...

2009-08-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

Some of the lessons we've been given for success are; take control, be proactive, move through and conquer situations, let nothing stand in our way. We grow with this “take no prisoners” mentality to go forth and conquer the world.

Many who have a gentler spirit (blessed are the meek), are at odds with the prescribed agenda which goes against an innate nature nonetheless, still try to play the role and have a chance at the world’s approval.

We hone our mental abilities of intellectualizing, compromising, planning, scheming, projecting in an effort to get where and what we want.

A great dilemma comes once we consciously begin a search for deeper meaning as one of the fundamental lessons in spiritual understanding is, “to let go and let God”. The intrinsic operational system that created this existence with such mind-boggling precision also coordinates all events in our lives.

The way it works is what so ever we think, visualize, imagine, are convinced of and emote, sends energy waves into the Universe attracting like energy manifesting as the circumstances and experiences we live. Everything vibrates at a unique frequency. Various emotional states such as; happiness, sadness, fear & joy vibrate at very different rates therefore, the Law of Attraction brings into being, a physical response matching our energy release. There is no partiality in the kingdom of Spirit… It is a basic process – like energy attracts . Everything is vibration and we attract those things that we are in vibrational resonance with.

Heart of the matter is we are caught between two worlds – that of, learnt behavior ingrained from recycled information imbued with doubts and fears and that of a blossoming consciousness requiring us to release beliefs relentlessly drummed into our heads as the things we value. We are asked to let go of all images and concepts we hold of ourselves,,, strip naked, down to the very core.

What a chasm of experiences lies between these two realities. So we come to the cliff’s edge: to jump or not. The choices are; keep clawing our way through the ever-increasing complexities of the human psyche, utilizing skills and behavior patterns picked up along the way, or jump!

Release…. embrace the mystery… the absolute unknown… (what hints of delicious delight!).

The way I see it, whatever created such mathematically (incomprehensible to my mind) exact functioning-ability in maintaining this universe, can certainly catch my ass.

While at that razor’s edge of spiritual evolution, the deciding factor comes down to a simple matter of trust. Do I trust that, though intellectually, I cannot conceive who or what you are, there is an inner ‘knowing’… there is a plan and I’m in and of it, besides... I wasn’t doing such a good job with my ego's version of things… so I’d best be wise, put my mind aside and jump...

The Little Mustard Seed

2009-08-16T07:43:00.000-07:00

I once had a little mustard seed
Kept it in my pocket
So I would not lose it

I carried it everywhere I went,
But when my pants got old and tattered
My mother discarded it,
Along with my cherished seed...

“if ye have as much faith as a little mustard seed
You say to this mountain, remove from here
To there, and it will move…”

For years, I wrestled with my convictions
As tears clung to my existence
Like a shadow refusing to go away
even in the dark,

Only the memory of that small seed
Strengthened me when self-destruction
threatened to consume me

Fear of the unknown gripped my intellect
Rendering it useless,
All I had was a distant memory
Of the fusion between me
and a tiny mustard seed

How its possibilities
Filled my being with renewed hope
And eased my baseless fears,

For the first time I realized
my seed was never lost…

Somehow, it found its way
Into my heart and sprouted roots

Maybe my tears watered it,
Maybe my desires
Sheltered it from harm

Maybe…
the innocent belief of a small child
Breathed life into it

No longer a tiny mustard seed,
Instead…
My expression of limitless potential,
My open vessel rooted in eternity ...

How did that tiny seed bloom
to such majestic glory?

“If ye have faith…”
the impossible is made possible.
nerak ©

Body Moves ...

2009-08-09T06:42:00.001-07:00

Ever since I can remember, I have loved to dance. Never took a dance class in my life but that surely hasn’t stopped me doing my own thing, my own way. I am not quite sure when the “freedom thing” started but I realized very early on that I am able to; hear music, let it penetrate in to my Being - can’t really tell you what the process is but, I close my eyes, my mind disappears and rhythm and body fuse. When I really get going, my consciousness becomes engaged in a flight where body rides the waves of rhythms, lyrics and vocals undulating in the most awesome sensations of exquisite freedom ….

I hear folks referring to this as Trance Dancing but because it truly is such an instinctual and spontaneous process for me, I will not put a name to such a beautiful thing. It just is.

It is only since I began the process of freeing my mind from the patterns of conditioned thinking, I realized this is one of the most amazing meditational practices, as in these moments; there is no thought, just intuitive movements.

I am not much of a “cocktail party” type of individual, not too much into the “chit-chat” form of engagement, but the moment there is music, count me in. I never need a partner, well; I already have the perfect partner - music, so when I kick off the shoes, close my eyes, shift gears and take flight, soaring…. Sometimes I forget where I am and in that spit second after the song is over, I sometimes have to remind myself. This has caused its fair share of awkward moments as some guys think dancing with Self is an invitation for a partner, and many times when I re-connect with earth, there is someone who has appointed himself my partner…. Oftentimes a bit too invasive, leaving me with the task of explaining – “no offence Bredren, but I’m already dancing with God”. Some walk away with puzzled faces, others completely understand and give me that nod. We’re good.

The earthier the song, meaning; the more evocative the lyrics are, the more emotional the singer is and pulsating the beat is, the higher the flight. It is as if it becomes an opportunity for my soul to express itself in this physical realm – pure unadulterated creative expressing...

The best part is, I do this at home as well, for the sheer joy of being. My kids have come to know that Mom "goes off" at times and on occasions, do join in the dance, which is pretty special ...

Did you know that - Supermarkets play the best music!
I'll be sashaying down the aisle totally oblivious to curious eyes... as it is only about being One with that moment, though my son will pretend he doesn't know me : ) The morale of the story is, short and simple: when Spirit beckons, by whatever means - body moves...

The Dancer

Heady, pulsating drumbeats fill the air
Sending an electric charge
Throughout the entire sphere
In the far horizon
Her silhouette rises
From the center of the earth
Once you behold her
You are mesmerized
Any second missed
Is woeful loss
At last you are face to face
With the Dancer
A presence so overwhelming
You try to hide
From a feeling of imperfection
But you cannot run
No, you cannot hide
Because the Dancer -

is inside...

nerak

The Family

2009-08-02T16:45:00.000-07:00

Here’s how we know we have grown spiritually. When we reach a place where we have made peace and are able to live harmoniously with our family members.

I believe we are born into particular families and in the exacting circumstances of our lives, because those scenarios lend themselves best to events which provide maximum opportunities to learn the lessons we need in each lifetime. I also believe that each family member has been traveling with us throughout lifetimes, as we are encoded with the memories from these experiences to take us to the next level in each subsequent incarnation. In my world, before we come here, in the state of our all-knowing Selves, we map the blueprint of situations that will create the most ideal potential for growth. Do you think it is inconsequential that family members share similar DNA? (coded molecules used in the development and functioning of all known living organisms which main role is the long-term storage of information.)

There is a purpose behind everything under the Sun, and being a member of your precise family is no exception. Quite the contrary; it bears far greater significance than most realize.

Like most families, we’ve had our share of absolutely beautiful moments as well as, very difficult times. As adults, we’ve done our own thing raising families and such but somehow have always remained in contact. It wasn’t until five years ago that we coalesced and found ourselves living within 15 minutes of each other with our Mother forming the nucleus. Since then, our relating has become more intense running the full gamut between negative and positive. We had an incident a couple years ago that threatened to completely sever the ties. It is in our reflection that we realize it was absolutely intentional (mapped out by our Higher Minds) as that event became the catalyst bringing about the turning point in our relating, not just as a family but as individuals, one to another.

It is simply magical what has emerged, almost as if we are able to lay down whatever memories or grievances we held against another throughout the years and see one another with new eyes. As if we have opened up our hearts to embrace fully the individual essence in each other, but most importantly, we have agreed to listen with the intention of understanding what each person is feeling in any given situation. This has created amongst us, a new level of relating and it was with this newly reconfirmed bond that the family took its first vacation in God knows how long…

Last week, we all rounded up the kids and took off for a week in Ft. Myers Beach, Florida. We rented a house on the beach for what we hoped would be a memorable vacation. If I were the world’s greatest writer, I could not have surpassed the script for the absolutely fabulous time we had.

We did everything together: supermarket shopping for our groceries, cooking and cleaning the kitchen for our meals, bar-b-cueing by the pool, talks around the dining table, walking the town in search of reggae music, finding the perfect coconut tree under which to set up our spot to lounge by the beach and swim in the warm waters, watching movies with the kids, engaging in a photo competition for the best vacation pictures, watching our mother bask in the glory of being surrounded by her children and grandchildren and oh so many more precious moments firmly embedded.

I think my sister summed it up by saying; “I don’t think there is anything after this that could shake the foundation we now have.” She is absolutely correct, as we have all evolved, not perfect (don’t believe there is such a thing), but far more aware and far more accepting, patient, less to pass judgment, and more embracing. Of course, situations will continue to challenge our relationship, which is the whole point, as now they become opportunities to strengthen and build on what is already cemented. As I now think about my brothers and sister, they are not only my siblings but my friends, my support system, my fellow travelers on this life’s journey choosing to hold hands so if one falls… the rest will carry him.
I ask you to reflect on your own family, whomever you grew up with and shared countless experiences. In my mind, I have been taught a significant lesson in that I could travel the whole world and amass knowledge and spiritual lessons that open up a whole new dimension to my living but somehow, it always comes back full circle, to where it began, with the family. My spiritual evolution has taken on a new perspective and deeper lessons I can pass on to my children by the very nature of my relating with my very own family members. I have found peace in my own home with all the members coded with the same DNA as I - and in my mind, it is as it was… intended.

Going Beyond...

2009-07-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

Hollow is the mind
that sees only with human eyes

Shallow is the heart
which knows not celestial love

Merciless is the desire
to pass perpetual judgment

Skeptical is our attitude
of what we have yet to understand

Empty is our lives
since we remember not
our timeless beginning

Compassion is needed
to elevate
our human evolution

nerak

What exactly do we worship?

2009-07-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.

In the Bible the Israelites danced around and bowed down to a golden image. Though the story seems literal enough, in my mind I think symbolically even back then, the fact that is was made of gold makes me think that it was really the obsessive pursuit and love of material things that consumed the minds of the people….

What are our false gods today?

I believe many Christians think this commandment from the Bible refers to other religions calling the Divine by other names such as; Jah, Buddah, Allah or whatever, but I say unto you, it is the farthest thing from what is meant by worshipping false gods. As I have said before, whatsoever we give our attention to becomes our truths therefore, whatsoever most predominates our thoughts, have become our false gods.

As I look at our society, it is clear that one of our main fixation is the worship of our physical body. If we are honest and pay attention to what preoccupies our thoughts most, then our physical appearance rates right there at the top, the simple reason being - we mistake who we are for this exterior vessel that houses our spirit.

Many of the powerful and prevalent themes deeply rooted from our childhood revolved around our hair, our face, our weight, how we dress, are we pretty or ugly, do we have a nice body or not, and the list goes on – All this information absorbed as acceptable and reliable information becomes a part of our belief system cemented in our sub-conscious minds. We are bombarded with it from all areas of our lives, family, friends, the media, the entertainment world etc. Through this indoctrination, we become what other people see from the outside.

One day as I sat outside a coffee shop sipping coffee, doing one of my favorites past times… people watching, after half an hour a pattern began to emerge. About 30 people walked by in that time frame and every one of them, I repeat – every single person turned to stare at themselves in a mirror close by. That’s when I realized OMG! We all are investing our sense of self in this transient, physical form. So I made a contract with myself that for one year, I would not look in a mirror. I had to employ a practice that would break my connection to my physical appearance as depicting who I was. So for one year, I did not wear makeup and pulled my hair back in one (would have been so much easier today) to avoid looking in the mirror. Throughout that period, I began the process of turning inward in trying to re-establish an innate and authentic sense of self.

Little girls and boys from birth are being judged by the way they look. They are graded beautiful, ugly or falling somewhere in the “not so bad” category. Remember, they are absorbing all this information as their truths. In Jamaica, there is this warped judgment of whether your hair is good or bad depending on its texture. Songs like Buju Bantan’s “browning” tried to establish light skin girls as somehow being better than darker skinned girls. These are self-destructive attitudes being passed down through generations.

It is the same in almost all societies but it seems, the more “civilized” the culture, the deeper the conditioning. I fear black folks have been given the heaviest burden. For centuries being told, you are sub-human, inferior, UGLY - augmented by a painful history of chains, bondage and slavery leaves us with deep psychological scars regarding our self-worth and self-image. Our “inferior” sense of self was created and rammed down our throats by "others" and because the experience was so brutal and extended, the information we absorbed at a deep level is still to this day being passed on to our children. In varying degrees, we've all bought into some arbitrary individual(s) archetype of beauty and are living by these trite and meaningless standards. The price we pay is severe as it leaves in its wake, feelings of self hatred and unworthiness. And even those who fall into the coveted "most beautiful" category, generally spend a lifetime chasing down the "fountain of youth" while being chased by Father Time himself.

“Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all things shall follow”.

In coming back to recognizing what gods we worship, contemplate the amount of time we spend doing our hair, nails, workout, clothes - against how much time we spend in meditation, pondering the Divine. Hey, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with us looking our ultimate but the point here is to establish what notions or beliefs take precedence in our thinking thereby, getting our focus and attention and becoming that which we worship. Our thoughts tell the truth of what is paramount in our lives. Is it the Divine or is it something else?

Michael Jackson - My Life is the Song

2009-06-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Like so many others, I am affected by the death of Michael Jackson. Somehow though, I am left with this feeling of extreme sadness as I watch them re-play the images of Michael as a kid. His face radiates pure innocence and joy as he unabashedly glided across the stage belting out his song… The image made me smile but through the smile, tears cascaded down my face. The immediate question came to mind, what kind of species are we where this innocent child infused with God-given talent coursing through every cell in his body, could be transformed into such a sad, vacant and lonely man.

It is not just about Michael, I am speaking about every child born into this word who comes so innocent and pure and as a society, as a species we fill their minds with such toxic and self destructive information they spend years, possibly the rest of their lives feeding the demons we seeded within them.

We hear the stories that Michael was severely abused by his father, but even putting that aside we saw for ourselves how he went through the intense rigors from the age of five trying to break into the music business. We hear that he had to rehearse for hours on end. I remember him telling the story of passing by a playground on his way to rehearsal and started to cry as he wished with all his heart that he could be just like those other kids playing. There was no balance in Michael Jackson’s young life. For whatever reasons or motivations the people around him including his parents, neglected to create a balanced and wholesome representation of life. Herein began the seeds of destruction.

I can only imagine what it must have been like, going through the tumultuous teenage years of his life, where every embarrassing pimple, every awkward transition occurred in front of the entire world. His moments of uncertainty when an honest and impartial voice would have made the world of difference, I am sure were superseded by personal motivations in what was said to Michael. Who did not carefully consider the fact that he was their gravy train with every word they spoke to him?

And then there is the media and we the public that sustain this destructive obsession with celebrities with our most judgmental and unhealthy scrutiny. I recall Britney Spears and I am sure many were salivating in anticipation of her complete downfall. What has happened to us? Where is the species that nurtures their young from birth, with images and acts of kindness and love? Where they are taught to love themselves irregardless of what color or shape they came with because those are merely external vessels holding the most precious gift - our inherent Divine Self…

What are we saying to our children today? That you are the most beautiful creation capable of accomplishing anything your mind can conceive? Or are we planting seeds of self loathing inevitably leading to inner turmoil and destruction?

So today in memory of Michael Jackson, I think of all the children of the world and pray that somehow, someway we recognize that we are tainting the very essence of God with the potential to manifest right here on earth in our physical bodies, as Jesus did.

Michael came with the face of an angel to serenade and bring us countless moments of pure delight but after undergoing his journey amongst us, left wearing a mask depicting the ugliness of our human existence. I now understand that his pre-ordained mission was to sacrifice his life to show us what we are doing to our children, as demonstrated by the fact that he never wanted to grow up and why he was happiest amongst children. These are Michael’s own words lamenting the moment life as it was presented to him, started to eat away at his soul. He was not only speaking for himself but on behalf of all our children who are being robbed of their innocence and child-like wonder.

Have you seen my Childhood – by Michael Jackson
MyNiceSpace.com

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood (Childhood) I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
But the dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had
Have you seen my Childhood....

God bless you Michael and I pray with all my heart, that we remember the children.

The Power of thoughts

2009-06-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

Every thought vibrates - every thought radiates a signal and every thought attracts a matching signal back.
The powerful impact of The Law of Attraction

The complete understanding of this Universal Principle (The Law of Attraction) can be extremely daunting and quite scary to say the least. The realization that within our own heads, the culmination of our own thoughts - manifests our reality - is enough to make us want to pay very close attention to each and every single thought we hold.

After all, the great revelation is;
I am the creator of all that takes place in my life.
By the power of my own thoughts I draw to me, all the people and circumstances I now live. This impressive concept can also be very overwhelming especially when we fully realize, we are not even aware of most of our thoughts much less, be in control!

To demonstrate what I mean, here’s a little exercise. Sit for five minutes and try to observe your thoughts. It means putting your attention to what is going on in your head. The emphasis is on the observation. It is an attempt to try and establish what your thoughts are.

Do you find that before you even realize it, you get carried away with the thoughts themselves and lose track of the exercise? Do you find that one thought leads to another and another and before you know it, you are barraged by an endless flow of seemingly random thoughts going whichever way they chose? Of those thoughts you were able to observe, how many truly reflect a sense of who you want to be and what you want to represent?

This exercise as simple as it seems, is critical in establishing exactly where we are in determining what is creating our realities. The steps are simple; first recognize what thoughts we entertain in a moment to moment basis, otherwise we will have no knowledge of exactly what we are sending out to the Universe as our point of attraction.

Secondly, learn how to take control of our own fate and consciously guide our thoughts towards those we desire for ourselves and our lives.

Based on my own experience, the endeavor to free one’s self from the illusion of the ego, to become alert and non-judgmental to one’s own thoughts, actions and feelings is through the practice of meditation.

Meditation allows us to become aware of the beliefs triggering the thoughts running through our heads.

In time, it helps us develop a non-attachment to these thoughts and ensuing emotions. It helps to establish the presence of mind to determine what thoughts we want representing our essential self and those we do not.
It enables us to take back the power to guide our thoughts towards those that re-establish us as Children of God with infinite potential thereby, releasing us from our perceptions of lack and limitations.

So I leave you with this:
What so ever it is that you are giving your attention to -
Invites it in.
Your thoughts = your point of attraction.
If there are things in your life you no longer wish to experience
Your Beliefs Must Change!

Ask in prayer… then what?

2009-06-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

“Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you”.

My mother is extremely religious and growing up, I remember her praying a lot. Over and over, I heard her pray to God for just about everything but even as a child, something struck me as very strange. Why would she keep asking God for the same thing again and again? I remember thinking, “Does God have such a bad memory that she has to keep reminding Him?”

What exactly are we supposed to do once we pray about a situation or our state of being? - I say unto you - we ought to surrender….

The Universe knows before it is even asked therefore, our effort ought to be:
Trust the Universe to fulfill all our needs and desires - Relax and let it flow.

This however, is where the paradox comes in, because we are already convinced of our present state (which is why we are living the experience we desire to change) that the doubts and fears we already hold become an obstruction to the very things we desire. Most of the time, we pray and are not even aware that we are the ones blocking what we pray for.

The Law of Attraction states that whatever we are most convinced of becomes our reality. Whatever we focus on most, is drawn into our experiences therefore, once we pray we should try to become fully aware of what thoughts we are holding on a moment to moment basis as these are the very things enabling or resisting our desires.

Say for instance, you desire a new car because the old one is beginning to fall apart and every time you drive it you fear that it will break down with you. Once you send your desire for a new car to the Universe, watch your thoughts. Are you more focused on your old car, the fear of it breaking down, reiterating in your head why you need a new car in the first place or are you visualizing yourself in every possible moment driving your new car? Do you breathe in the smell that usually comes with a new car? Do you feel your hands going over the brand new interior and get a feeling of excitement as you gaze upon the shiny new paint?

Herein lays the crux of whether or not our prayers are being realized. If we are more focused on our undesired state as opposed to practicing over and over, using our very senses to imagine what our desired state would be like, then we are dis-allowing the Law of Attraction to bring to us what we seek. In other words, every thought vibrates and radiates a signal attracting a matching signal back. To what are you giving your attention?

The Universe responds to our vibrational frequencies therefore, if we are sending out emissions that are holding us to the state of lack and limitation – meaning we keep seeing ourselves, not having or lacking what we desire, by its nature that is exactly what binds us to experiences of perceived lack. If however, by using techniques such as visualization and affirmations, we are able to project enough of an image of where we would rather be, then the shift occurs and our most predominant thoughts (our desires) are manifested in our experiences.

And so it comes back to our habit of praying over and over for the same thing as if God or the Universe has a bad memory. We are the ones who forget – that once we pray – we must surrender the process to the Universe - let it go. The only thing required of us is to “see” ourselves as already receiving it, enjoying it, actually living it. If we mentally and emotionally master the art of releasing our undesired states to instead, embrace our desires – magic happens!

Affirmations to assist in shifting self-negating perceptions that block our desires:

I release my resistant thoughts

I am in a vibrational state of Receiving

I need only believe that the Law of Attraction brings everything I need for my work and fulfillment

Osho Zen Tarot

2009-05-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this post by saying, I’m not too much into tarot cards that try to predict future events in my life as I think such information has the potential to distract me from discerning what feels right in each moment regarding such events. It allows someone else to plant seeds for my potential choices.

Clearly, I am not saying that there aren’t those who do have this ability to “see” events in others' lives but what I am saying is, I want the power to be in an open and mindful state of consciousness – to tune into my Higher Mind to perceive what feels right in each and every moment.

I’ve been using the Osho Zen Tarot cards for the past 15 years. In using these cards, I have completely opened a way for the Universe to communicate with me, without the clouded judgment of the ego. The Zen thought is to “engage oneself totally in the task of waking up, through a rich variety of meditations, physical healing and psychological therapies, lots of laughter and playfulness, and healthy does of creativity and hard work”.

Because its approach is to making the whole of life a meditation, I am drawn to it.
For me these cards throughout all these years have zoned in on the issues (mis-perceptions) clouding my clarity. They present an opportunity for me to examine a central theme in my journey. I usually do a reading on Sunday and use the information as my focus for the week.

Today, I felt like picking a card to share its significance with you.
So here goes… I don’t know what it is yet.. hang on… picking it now…

TRAVELING:

Meaning of image – The figure in the card is moving on his/her path not concerned about the goal.
They know the journey is the goal. Each step on the path is important in itself.

When this card appears it means this is a time of movement and change. It could be physical movement but then it could also be a shift from one state of consciousness to another. The card indicates that we should approach this change with a sense of adventure and fun. It reminds us to accept and embrace the new. We should endeavor to practice an attitude of openness and acceptance as this invites new friends and experiences in our lives.

I also love the humorous approach to the card's explanation:

"There is no final destination - just dancing and being in pilgrimage. If you really reach the destination of life, then what? Then you will look very embarrassed.
Nowhere to go... you have reached to the final destination - you will look all around like an idiot, what was the point?" ; )

Have a truly blessed week!

The Beauty in our Darkness

2009-05-23T07:49:00.000-07:00

For a long time in my life, I never thought I could ever say this but now I am able to because I see it with such clarity and humility -
There is great beauty in our darkness.

If it is one thing I try to be and that is honest. Whilst in the midst of my darkest moments – and there were many – I would probably have slapped you if you told me that – just trying to keep it real : )

I was so invested in my sorrow and pain, my mind could not have envisioned another perspective.

Because I was so enmeshed in the illusions, which were all I knew at the time and had bought them hook, line and sinker – it was my reality. I completely understand if anyone reading these words scoffs at this notion as mere gibberish. That was me - so you’ll get no judgment here, as a matter of fact you have my complete understanding, it being a case of been there, done that.

You see, while in the throes of darkness, the pain feels very real, the tears flowing down our cheeks taste salty enough and the emotions coursing through our bodies are painful enough so that all we want to do is to curl up into a little ball, dissolve into the darkness never having to face such anguish anymore. Oh yes, the memories never die as they become an intricate part of the tapestry of our existence – but I say unto you – with spiritual growth, that reality dies and a new one is born. Hallelujah!

(Let me interject here that over the course of this blog, I will write about the many experiences I went through; suicidal thoughts, extreme depression and just plain old bad feelings and self-loathing)

Someone once told me, “I would never wish to live your life, to go through what you did, to endure the pain you have”.

Knowing what I now know – How could I have tried to explain to that individual, “I would not change one single moment. Everything I lived and experienced brought me to this very precious moment – this moment of - AWARENESS!

It is only because I walked through the valley of the shadows of death that I am now able to see beyond the horizon. It is only because I endured the worse in human emotions that I am able to feel compassion beyond the intellect – a quality connecting me and integrating me with my brothers and sisters in the deepest and most meaningful way. It is only because I stared into the ugly face of the ego that for the first time I recognized the truth about what it is and I could finally turn, once and for all, into the comforting arms of the Divine. The joys and rewards far outweigh those brief albeit painful moments in this journey of my life.

Pain is not the only path there is and that has to be understood. We can choose to learn in joy which is solely dependent on how long we choose to embrace the illusions created by our mis-perceptions. Release the illusions as bogus information imprinted into our subconscious minds. Change your mind – learn to think anew. Have faith in yourself but most importantly, have faith in the Force that created you and is in you.

The other night I was reflecting on my journey recollecting past experiences and a voice interjected my consciousness with these words which I immediately wrote down and pasted on my wall:
“I never left you”.

Accept right here, right now – I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions – there is in me that is beyond these experiences.

There is but one moment between here and eternity
If ever there was a time to capture that moment
Let it be NOW!

Time and Eternity

2009-05-23T05:57:00.000-07:00

Those among us
compelled to pay homage to time...
Find our selves imprisoned to a game
ceaselessly seeking
to grasp a piece of the illusive...
Link to immortality

It is not until that moment
Time sits and watches
Death looming
Do we realize...
We have spent a lifetime
Chasing the unattainable,

The one who never hears
The ticking of time,
Will never meet it
face to face

He is already free
In the world of infinity
where,
time
stands
still
©

The Gardener

2009-05-17T13:41:00.000-07:00

I've embraced my mother's love for plants and flowers.
To be surrounded by lush, green, exquisite and vibrant expressions of Nature's face brings me such pleasure - my mere words could never do justice in capturing their essence.

Whether I planted seeds, or snippets from other plants, my job remains the same, ensuring that I provide the appropriate water, nourishment and sunlight for them to survive and thrive. Any neglect of these duties on my part could result in their withering or possibly dying.

There is one aspect of this process which is not my responsibility and frankly, remains the mystery. Whatever the inherent quality causing these living things to naturally respond to my care allowing them to fulfill their "divine purpose" - remains with the Divine.

And so it is with our journey into ourselves.

It is our job to continuously plant seeds of information enabling an understanding of spiritual principles and constantly expanding our consciousness of God's intention for us.

It is our job to utilize techniques that assist in nurturing and cementing these new understanding - whatever it is:
Yoga - to help our bodies open up to the inflow of more prana and keep our minds focused on the breath (bringing awareness to the present)

Meditation to help us become more aware of the toxic thoughts we are engaged in - binding us to negative and self defeating habitual behavior

Affirmations to help remind us throughout the day, what we want to focus on, in re-affirming our new way of being.

Just like the well-being of my living, breathing plants is dependent on my commitment to properly care for them so they can survive, similarly our spiritual survival is solely dependent on our devotion to cultivate and nurture it's growth.

However, let us not forget the invisble realm of assistance which enhances our development in ways we cannot see or begin to understand. Just as we trust our efforts will bring forth beautifully stunning plants, we should trust the Universal Governing Body will propel us towards our Highest good and sustain us in our efforts.

There is much we may not know - but what I do know is that the bloom of infinite possibilities within us, is absolutely dependent on how committed and diligent a Gardener we are.
Let us focus on be-ing the full expression of God's intention. Let our beauty shine !

That which you seek - is within

2009-05-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

I have read so many books on spirituality, I cannot begin to remember the authors or names of the books even if I tried. Unquestionably, the information in these books provided a bountiful reservoir of spiritual food, but that's where it ends.
The next step is all about you.

Understanding spiritual principles and concepts is a critical part of the journey. The Bible states; "above all things, gain understanding". If we are to replace toxic, erroneous beliefs in our subconscious mind, we must have a source of information that touches our whole being with a sense of "rightness". But then, that information has to absorb its way into our thinking so that eventually it becomes our new truths.

Make no mistake, this is the toughest part of the journey because we have been programmed for so many years (lifetimes perhaps?) by egregious information stored in our subconscious minds that breaking free becomes the effort.

The point is, there comes a time when one has to put aside gathering spiritual information and begin to put the new information into practice so that it has a chance to become our new way of being.

The concept is fairly simple. Think of it as learning to drive a motor vehicle. First, you get the driving handbook and you study the rules and principles of the road and driving. But once you have retained the information in your head, the next logical step is to actually get behind the wheel of a car and start practicing. It does take a while to get the hang of it and you will most likely have a few mishaps... like putting a few dents and scrapes on the car however, I have yet to see someone actually trying to drive a car while reading the manual!

Too many people seem to stagnate in the stage of acquiring spiritual information and spend years intellectualizing and arguing what philosophies are right and wrong. That is a futile concept because we are all unique beings and each of us has our own individual path. The success comes when we actually become living, breathing participants engaging in the process.

The Journey begins and ends within you.

Living Tees

2009-05-09T07:03:00.000-07:00

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Pay attention to the internal whining

2009-04-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

Even after engaging for so many years, in different techniques such as meditation and visualization to bring awareness to the internal dialogue in my head, I find that some of the issues are so ingrained that every now and then, I catch myself functioning on auto pilot. This is when my mind automatically accepts information from my Subconscious Mind without any awareness on the part of my conscious mind to say whether I approve or accept that information as my truth or my acceptable mode of thinking.

The other day, I had to really put the brakes on everything and pay attention to what was happening in my head. I was whining! Big time! I am not sure how long my disengaged awareness had allowed this to run rampant, but I was having none of it!

The scenario is that we have embarked on a new project at work and since I am my boss's right hand person, it was inevitable I had to get involved deeply. I have to confess that I have had an aversion to technology, probably all my life and I left that un-addressed because so what if I don't have a cell phone or know how to program the VCR? I'm not missing anything really : )

In my prior blog I mentioned that I had entered the abyss of cyber space when I decided to do a website and this blog. I didn't really reveal how out of my depth it all is for me, but my desire to do this is so intense that my intention is to deal with it one day at a time.

Now back to the work situation. This new project involves acquiring technical information about all the different and new ways to promote music on the internet. (Are you getting the co-relation with my website and blog?) But this adventure involves my livelihood - the sink or swim kind. Would you know that my little ego smelled fear; fear of the unknown, fear of looking like a fool, fear of failure... and kicked in. The internal dialogue play button was in effect before I grasped what was happening and the whining in my head had begun. It was finding every excuse in the book why someone else should be doing this and not me. The petulant child from my earlier years of misguided perceptions was having a field day. I watched her do her thing and boy,
being so programmed - she's good.

This time though, I became the Witness and not a participant in this internal drama. I stepped back and really saw what was going on and when I had my fill.. I pulled the plug, turned the lights off, closed the curtain. Enough.

I want this. I want to learn all this technological stuff. I embrace it and call it into my experience, and that's why it's here, staring me in the face, telling me to deal with it. And deal with it I will.

Let no stone remain unturned.

Entering the Abyss

2009-04-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

I’ve wanted for so long to create a website to chronicle my spiritual journey but we all know how life is, we have intentions and then there is action.

Finally, this year (since I know how the Law of Attraction works), I created:

http:www.Thejourney-in.com.

I am now realizing that getting the website up was the easy part !
Once the website was up, I am fully grasping that I have entered…

the Abyss, the black-hole of cyber-space.

There is a whole different language – html, SEO, submissions to directories, RSS feeds, PPC …huh? And that’s only the beginning!
Anxiety grips my heart just like it does when one is entering the unknown.

Will my little website – a flicker of Light in this abyss, die a slow death – obliterated by the bling, bling of the experts who have been at this for such a long time?
Oh dear God, do I just give up now?

But here’s the kicker, almost in the same moment, an analogy popped into my mind. Entering the internet abyss is reminiscent of the beginning of my spiritual journey so many years ago.

I had no clue what was in store for me… what my direction was, or what the ultimate rewards would be however, I simply love how the Universe speaks to me because what I stepped away from that imagery was; just like my spiritual journey. I am gong to take this one day at a time.

I am going to remain open for daily “signs” and lessons to take me to the next level, I am going to practice patience and perseverance. I am going to learn all I can from those who have been there before me...

I certainly will not give in to fear, as this will cripple my poor little website before I give it a chance. I commit to working this new experience to the fullest and I know that at the end of the day, I will walk away from this a more informed, more internet savvy participant.

The morale of the story is; when first confronted by fear which very nature cripples action, take a deep breath... trust in the sincerity of your intention and desire, trust that you will be guided and though yes, we will stumble and even fall, inner resolve and staying true to our higher purpose will guide us through the darkest corridors of the Abyss.
In light and love,
nerak

Pity Party

2009-04-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

While growing up, my method of facing life was to internalize my experiences,more like stuffing everything inside. Eventually, I became a mess of self-hate and self-doubt. I was the Queen of a one woman; walking, talking pity party.
My theme song was - ”no-body knows the troubles, I’ve seen”.
I cried rivers as I reveled in my sense of, my sorrow is so much greater than yours.
I spent years trying to un-learn so many erroneous beliefs about myself.

If I could have realized then, how fanning the flames of my pity party prevented me from seeing things in a different perspective and that the longer I stayed in this state of suffering; the more I was cementing the false thinking in my belief system.

Everybody has a story to tell which is as real to them, as yours is to you.
My sorrow does not make me special. When I accepted that, it took away the “personal-ness” and I could look at the beliefs more as - bogus information in my thinking needing to be changed. I also understood at a very deep level;
I am NOT my thoughts or my feelings.

I learnt how to separate my sense of self from these feelings and thoughts that fueled them and to became non-attached to these habitual mental states.
Finally, I was free from their vice-like grip.
Suppression will not work.
If there is a need for a pity party, honor it…go with it, but try to keep in mind;
"I am ready to let this go. I am ready to see things in a different way. I am ready to move on." Once you have released the pent up energy, it is time to leave this party and do not look back. Embrace the dawning of a new day with your eyes fixed on the infusion of Light - (Information that plant the seeds of transformation).

Focus on being aware of the thoughts you hold that bring you down.
Affirm your new truths and rejoice that the you have made it through the dark night.
This too shall pass..

And the Beat goes on..

2009-04-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

No matter how many times we think we have messed up, or failed in our spiritual quest, the Truth is....

There is no such thing as mistakes or failures.

If we believe at the core, that everything is in Divine Order and that the Universal flow of events is a precisely orchestrated operation, how then can we mess up?

It is only about the experiences and the lessons. Each challenge or difficulty (NB: no mention of mistake or failure!) is an opportunity for evolving beyond a certain mind-set.
We have been riddled with mis-perceptions and negative patterns of beliefs that keep us shackled to difficult experiences.

Whilst it can be fairly easy to understand spiritual concepts resonating within us as Truths, the more difficult task comes in the application of such precepts as our way of thinking and being. Hence, the difficult situations become our opportunities for the practical application to think anew.

Let us therefore, not lament our lot and adorn the cloak of self-pity and victimization instead,let us give thanks for each "opportunity" to be re-born with the renewing of our minds.

As Bob Marley's song says... let's, "emancipate ourselves from mental slavery".
And the beat goes on...

How deep is your desire?

2009-03-25T15:26:00.000-07:00

One thing I have learnt on this path of self-discovery is the more I learn, the less I know.
It is like peeling away the layers of an onion, and for the first time I do see the infinite-ness of the All-Knowing.
Awareness is the foundation of knowing.
It is the practice of witnessing the self: watching our thoughts, emotions and actions.
Almost like watching a movie on the screen of our minds.

This is a very difficult endeavor at first, but with the practice of meditation, in time it becomes an easier process. It is a critical piece of the puzzle because without learning how to observe our thoughts and emotions, we remain conditioned to these thoughts and beliefs that keep us stuck in negative patterns of behavior. We cannot make fundamental changes before first knowing what thoughts dominate our minds.

A big part of our human psyche is the fact that we are our own worse critics. Somehow we have lost our sense of humor and are quick to chastise ourselves for the simplest seeming “screw-up”. We mentally berate ourselves with every derogatory name possible. We accept that it is ok to do this to ourselves but similar behavior from anyone else would cause us to become extremely angry. A very important aspect of witnessing is being non-judgmental.

We have been raised to criticize and point fingers rather than find solutions therefore, it will be a tricky habit to overcome, but we must make the effort to remind ourselves each time, “I am not here to judge, merely to observe.” We make excuses for our destructive thoughts and behavior as this allows us to dismiss them without too much introspection.

However, if we cannot develop an open mind to move beyond the habit, we will remain stuck in the habit. Most of the time, we find external reasons to justify why we do things. Again, in being non-judgmental, we can move away from the excuses and on to the healing. Absorb spiritual information.
If we are emptying the mind of negative thoughts, then we must fill it with information reflective of the spirit…. Information is everywhere… it is inscribed upon our hearts… discern your own truths.

At the end of the day it really comes down to: How deep is your desire…how great your desperation?

Just do it...

2009-03-19T15:24:00.000-07:00

It has been in my mind for a long time to create an opportunity to share what I have experienced with others simply because I truly have transformed the way I think and what I believe.... to thoughts and beliefs that now make me "feel good" .

Quite a drastic change from my former years.

However, the point today is, I also realize that I am stuck in the mind-set of thinking I always have so much to do..... being a single mom and everything that comes with that.
Now whilst all that is true, the reality is, if I continue to think that I never have time to pursue this desire.... then of course, you know what follows....

I am manifesting that very thinking into my day to day living.
So, this is where it ends and like the popular Nike slogan, "just do it" .... and do it I shall.

Hence, my effort started here, in creating this blog to share my thoughts, insights, lessons, on a regular basis.I am also working on my website (www.TheJourney-in.com)...yea!...with more in-depth information, techniques, poems and stories highlighting an honest depiction of the process involved in breaking free from my conditioned mind.

Sometimes we remain stuck in a particular pattern of thinking because although our true desire is contrary, it is difficult to separate our sense of self from our thoughts and those difficult emotions.So whilst an inner desire or urge is extremely strong, our habit of self-negating behavior is stronger which ultimately ends up killing the very desire itself...

However, awareness this day has brought forth my "error" in thinking so now, instead of the customary.."oh I don't have enough time"... my new motto is - Just Do It !

Going beyond habitual behavior

2009-03-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

Like many of us, I have fallen into this pattern of getting comfy on a Friday night after going home from work. But last night a friend of mine asked me to go with her to a birthday party for one of her high school friends.

I said yes, but almost immediately felt tired and wanted to cancel.
I was just about to pick up the phone to call her when I felt a deep urge to go...
after all, my inner voice said, How will you ever have new experiences if you don't expand your willingness to go beyond your patterns of behavior.

Ok, so I took a shower, drank a Redbull, all in the hopes of feeling more vitalized. I ended up going and it turned out to be a night of surprise. Not only did I meet new people and had facinating and in-depth conversations, but lo and behold, at this same party.... was a friend who went to the same University I did in Toronto.
I hadn't seen her since I left Canada many moons ago. It was great to re-connect and I ended up staying until 3:00am. I had a good time.

The huge reminder I walked away with was that the Universe is constantly providing all sorts of new experiences to expand our horizons and relationships however, if we remain stuck in our patterns of bahavior.... we will miss these opportunities and our lives remain stagnant and restrictive. So now I will keep this affirmation with me for a while....
Always, be open to new possibilities...

TheJourney-In.com

2009-03-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

I have been on a conscious path to change my beliefs and thoughts for the past 25 years.

The journey especially in the early stages has been tumultuous to say the least, but when I consider who and how I was and who I am now, the transformation has been incredible.

It is a process which at times I doubted, I ranted and railed against but ultimately, in finding my own path, my own way made each moment absolutely worthwhile.

The point of this blog is an honest accounting of how I was able to change a suicidal mind to one of calm, and a deep sense of contentment.

I will never pretend to know all the answers but I also cannot deny the drastic change within my own being. I hope you will share this journey with me and whilst we can take so much from each other to help us on our way, at the end of the day... this is a personal and uniquely individual process and we must all look within our own selves for our answers and truths.

What this is about...

2009-03-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

There was a time I could neither control nor tolerate the thoughts in my head nor could I endure the barrage of raw emotions coursing through my being. Those were the darkest moments of my life. There are some of us who are unable to regulate emotions like others ( I now understand they call this Borderline Personality Disorder). We are the ones who want to tear the very flesh from our bodies in those moments of emotional melt-down.

But that was then...

Today, I am no longer a victim of such overwhelming emotional dysfunctionand if I can offer any information to anyone going through similar difficult times,then my most valuable piece of information is, to pursue the Practice of Meditation. For many years I have been practicing meditation, a very simple technique in principle... but one which requires; dedication, an open mind, patience and consistency.

The good news I offer is that the practice is an integral part of the transformation of my mental state from one of absolute terror and great sorrow to one which now preserves a "peace that goes beyond intellectual understanding"...